This is beautiful Casey. I had a moment of panic somewhere around halfway through, because it suddenly occurred to me that this was only an excerpt, and so it’d probably be short. And I knew I’d want to keep reading. And I do. More, please!
Why the hot dog description of putting folded paper into your bag? Just doesn't seem to fit the narrative. Why Hot Dog, not Taco or just folded note paper? But not to be too critical, I was drawn in to your narrative. I wonder what Miles will be really like. Will you be "into" him and will he be "into" you as well?
I enjoy the dialogue and its pace. There are a lot of great details: the golden cloud head of hair, hotdog papers. Definitely makes me want to read more!
This is beautiful Casey. I had a moment of panic somewhere around halfway through, because it suddenly occurred to me that this was only an excerpt, and so it’d probably be short. And I knew I’d want to keep reading. And I do. More, please!
Why the hot dog description of putting folded paper into your bag? Just doesn't seem to fit the narrative. Why Hot Dog, not Taco or just folded note paper? But not to be too critical, I was drawn in to your narrative. I wonder what Miles will be really like. Will you be "into" him and will he be "into" you as well?
I enjoy the dialogue and its pace. There are a lot of great details: the golden cloud head of hair, hotdog papers. Definitely makes me want to read more!
I love the pad Thai detail. Grounds the story, somehow.